By Sherry Sausaman
Your Emotional Safety
If communication with the abuser is necessary, do it as safely as possible.
If exchanging children for visitation, choose a public place and take someone with you.
If you are thinking about going back to what might be an abusive situation, talk to someone you trust, an advocate, family, friend to determine if there is an a safer option.
Build a support system of trusted friends/family. Plan to attend a support group and learn from others.
Do things for yourself and your kids that are positive and will make you feel stronger.
Think about how you want to improve your life and living conditions free from abuse for you and your children.
Safety During a Violent Event
Avoid being cornered in a room with no exit especially the bathroom and the kitchen or where weapons are close by.
Think about and plan the best way you could escape from rooms within your home, i.e. doors, windows, stairs.
Keep money, extra keys for house/car, important documents (birth certificates, SS cards, bank account information, etc.) extra clothes hidden in a bag or at a trusted family/friend.
If possible, tell a neighbor about the violence and ask them to call the police, if they hear violence.
Have a designated code word established with a trusted friend/family that could alert the police.
Plan a safe place where you could go in an emergent situation.
Dangerous situations can escalate quickly, trust your instincts and keep yourself and your children safe.
Being safe after a protective order/restraining order
Always have a copy of the order with you and keep copies in all the places you are on a regular basis, i.e. work, school, car.
Call the police immediately, if the abuser violates the protective order, even if by phone.
Make an alternative plan in the event the police can’t respond immediately, i.e. running to a neighbor house, a neighbor or close by friend/family that you could call to come over.
Inform family, friends and neighbors that you have the protective order.
If possible, stay away from places in the community where your abuser might be.
Keep a cell phone fully charged and with you at all times.
Safety at Work or In Public
Inform someone at work of your situation, such as supervisor/boss, security officer. Provide a photo of the abuser to them, if possible.
Have telephone calls screened, if possible.
Don’t go to your car alone, have someone walk with you.
If possible, don’t always travel the same route and think about what you would do if the abuser started following your car.
Keep a cell phone fully charged and with you at all times.
Preparing to leave the abuser
Establish who you could go to for safe shelter or lend you money.
Always keep your children safe, if possible take them to someone who will keep them safe or take them with you when you leave.
Keep money, extra keys for house/car, important documents (birth certificates, SS cards, bank account information, etc.) extra clothes hidden in a bag or at a trusted family/friend.
Open a savings account and have statements mailed to a post office box that you open or sent to a trusted family/friend.
Keep important numbers close by.
Have a designated code word established with a trusted friend/family that could alert the police if needed.
Keep a cell phone fully charged and with you at all times.
And remember - Leaving the abuser is the most dangerous time.
Your Emotional Safety
If communication with the abuser is necessary, do it as safely as possible.
If exchanging children for visitation, choose a public place and take someone with you.
If you are thinking about going back to what might be an abusive situation, talk to someone you trust, an advocate, family, friend to determine if there is an a safer option.
Build a support system of trusted friends/family. Plan to attend a support group and learn from others.
Do things for yourself and your kids that are positive and will make you feel stronger.
Think about how you want to improve your life and living conditions free from abuse for you and your children.
Safety During a Violent Event
Avoid being cornered in a room with no exit especially the bathroom and the kitchen or where weapons are close by.
Think about and plan the best way you could escape from rooms within your home, i.e. doors, windows, stairs.
Keep money, extra keys for house/car, important documents (birth certificates, SS cards, bank account information, etc.) extra clothes hidden in a bag or at a trusted family/friend.
If possible, tell a neighbor about the violence and ask them to call the police, if they hear violence.
Have a designated code word established with a trusted friend/family that could alert the police.
Plan a safe place where you could go in an emergent situation.
Dangerous situations can escalate quickly, trust your instincts and keep yourself and your children safe.
Being safe after a protective order/restraining order
Always have a copy of the order with you and keep copies in all the places you are on a regular basis, i.e. work, school, car.
Call the police immediately, if the abuser violates the protective order, even if by phone.
Make an alternative plan in the event the police can’t respond immediately, i.e. running to a neighbor house, a neighbor or close by friend/family that you could call to come over.
Inform family, friends and neighbors that you have the protective order.
If possible, stay away from places in the community where your abuser might be.
Keep a cell phone fully charged and with you at all times.
Safety at Work or In Public
Inform someone at work of your situation, such as supervisor/boss, security officer. Provide a photo of the abuser to them, if possible.
Have telephone calls screened, if possible.
Don’t go to your car alone, have someone walk with you.
If possible, don’t always travel the same route and think about what you would do if the abuser started following your car.
Keep a cell phone fully charged and with you at all times.
Preparing to leave the abuser
Establish who you could go to for safe shelter or lend you money.
Always keep your children safe, if possible take them to someone who will keep them safe or take them with you when you leave.
Keep money, extra keys for house/car, important documents (birth certificates, SS cards, bank account information, etc.) extra clothes hidden in a bag or at a trusted family/friend.
Open a savings account and have statements mailed to a post office box that you open or sent to a trusted family/friend.
Keep important numbers close by.
Have a designated code word established with a trusted friend/family that could alert the police if needed.
Keep a cell phone fully charged and with you at all times.
And remember - Leaving the abuser is the most dangerous time.